i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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