you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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