Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
