didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
is wine microwaveable?
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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