I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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