Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
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