my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Is it because I queefed?
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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