Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
