My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
