I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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