I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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