I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
