girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I have feelings that need drinking.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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