'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Randomize
