Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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