If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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