yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
