Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
