I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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