that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize