wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Randomize
