I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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