Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
