Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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