i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
How's work?
Spinning.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
