My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
