I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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