You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
