you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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