Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
