I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
