It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize