"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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