He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
