so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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