think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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