Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
