idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
