"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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