you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize