yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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