We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
