As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
