please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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