hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
