and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
