"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
