There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
