Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
