An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
