Your dad touched me again.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
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