Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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