I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
