Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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