I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
