3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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