I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Randomize
