Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize