Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
