this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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