He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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